Why Social Media Sucks
So I intended to write a blog today about how I just started the YouTube channel and how you shouldn’t be afraid to step outta your comfort zone. I was gonna mention finding a good support system for yourself. I was also gonna talk about how I’m limiting my YouTube videos to Monday-Thursday so that I can spend the weekends with my family and run errands and clean house on Fridays. Then I started cleaning my kitchen and completely changed my mind about what I wanted to write about.
I realized I wanted to be super transparent about something before I get too many videos and blogs under my belt. My life is usually chaos. The photo is my kitchen counter and table right now, complete with a bunch of “projects”. My family really can’t use the kitchen right now. I’m not sure the videos or even my Facebook have, or will ever, clearly express the chaos, because honestly I forget it’s like that cuz it’s just my daily life. We have a tendency to look at what people post on social media and we create a perception of the person we are looking at, and then we have a tendency to judge ourselves against that image we’ve created in our heads. And most of the time we find ourselves “lacking” in that comparison.
I have bipolar II. For me this means quite a bit of hypomania. I tend to channel all that ridiculous energy into tons of projects. I also suffer from depression so projects and my livestock can help drag me out of that. Animals have to be cared for regardless of if I want to get out of bed or not. And sometimes a new project is enough to help me start climbing outta the black hole. I also get bored really easily, so I tend to bounce around project to project never really becoming an expert at any one thing, but learning a lot of different things along the way.
I tell you this not because I want you to think differently of me. I tell you this because when you’re seeing me do a thousand different projects and you’re comparing yourself and if you start thinking you should be doing more in your life…I want you to stop and remember this is a coping mechanism for me. And I want you to know that my house and family are probably dealing with a bunch of projects taking up space everywhere. The images aren’t telling the whole story, and not because I’m hiding it or ashamed of it, I just don’t always think to mention it and honestly half the time I don’t even notice it myself.
I have no intention of giving up my crazy projects or disengaging from social media. There are far worse coping mechanisms I could choose. I just never want to contribute to somebody else judging themselves harshly. So I want you to know that I don’t expect anyone to try every single thing I attempt. Shoot, if my brain would chill out I wouldn’t even attempt half of them. 😂 But if one of the projects looks fun to you? Try it. If it works and you liked doing it…great do it some more! If it doesn’t work or you hated it…just move on. If you have questions, holler at me. If none of the projects look fun to you, find something that does! Just have fun and only compare yourself to yourself. I also want to warn you, spring and fall tend to be my most hypomanic times of the year, so get ready to be bombarded by god only knows how many different projects. I hope it won’t be too annoying for y’all as I bounce all over the place doing different things.
(In the interest of full disclosure about the image we portray of ourselves, I want to also add these days I get up every morning and put eyeliner and mascara on before I start my day! If I don’t people ask if I’m sick. So just know any photo I post of myself, if I didn’t cheat and put makeup on first, I’d look like death warmed over. And if you ever see me without it, please for the love of god, don’t ask if I’m feeling sick! It’s given me quite the complex! 😂)